Making Relationships a Priority

2 Samuel 18:19-19:40

David set aside his own feelings and rights for the sake of peace and reconciliation with family, friends, enemies, and the nation of Israel. He was humble and patient, regarding others more important than himself.

What are you willing to give up to maintain or acquire good relationships? Are you willing to sacrifice for the sake of peace and give up your rights in order to reconcile?

David and Absalom – 2 Samuel 18:19-33

After David’s men defeated Absalom and his army, Ahimaaz, Zadok’s son, wanted to tell David about their victory. He and Jonathan were the priests’ sons who had risked their lives to bring David the message that Absalom and his army were coming to attack, so he wanted to be the one to give him the message of victory, too. But Joab did not want Ahimaaz to also have to deliver the news of Absalom’s death, so he sent a Cushite to tell David everything that happened. At some point, this descendant of Ham, had traveled to Israel from the Horn of Africa, to follow David. As a foreigner, Joab thought he was a better messenger for this type of news than the priest’s son. But Ahimaaz was insistent that he be the one to tell David of the victory, so finally Joab agreed to let him go. Though his route on the floor of the Jordan Valley was longer, it was smoother than the hilly terrain traveled by the Cushite, and Ahimaaz outran him.

David was sitting between the gates of the city when the watchman spotted a messenger. David was encouraged that there was only one man and assumed that he carried good news. Even when he saw a second messenger, David was hopeful, because he did not see an entire army in retreat. But when the watchman realized the first man was Ahimaaz, David believed he must be bringing good news because he was a good man. As he got closer, Ahimaaz cried out, “all is well,” bowed before the king, and proclaimed that God had brought them victory.

But Joab was right. David cared more about Absalom than winning the battle and he immediately asked about his son. Ahimaaz had only wanted to tell the king of the victory, and since the Cushite was coming behind him, he pretended not to know what happened to Absalom. He said as he was leaving to tell David the good news, he noticed a great commotion, but did not know what it was. So, David told him to stand aside, and when the Cushite reached David, he, too, proclaimed that the Lord had brought them victory. But David asked again about his son, and instead of just coming out and saying he was dead, the messenger said that all David’s enemies deserved the same fate as Absalom. This devastated David, and he went away to weep. As he went, he cried out for his son and said he wished it were him instead.

David and His Men – 2 Samuel 19:1-8

When Joab heard how distraught David was over Absalom and how the people avoided him as they returned to the city, he confronted the king. Joab explained that by grieving so deeply over his son, David had failed to appreciate the men who just fought to save his life. He was acting like Absalom was the only one that mattered to him. He seemed to love the son that hated him more than the men who loved him. Absalom had betrayed him, but they had always been loyal. Would have been happier if they had lost the battle and died, just so his son could live? David was mourning in the face of victory, which made the people feel ashamed when they should have been proud. Joab urged David to go to the people and let them know how much he appreciated them before they all got discouraged and turn against him. So, David collected himself and stood before the people.